I actually think this is Avril's only bearable song: no boiz, no stealing someone else's bf, and of course Ben Moody
wrote it! But oh well, it's Avril isn't it? Btw, Polly adds: Pink-Floyd-song-title-stealer!!!!
"Will you be my daddy?"
-Shut up ugly b****!
-No YOU shut up!
-No, YOU shut up!
They're still going... *sigh*
Arggghhh brunette it buuuurns!!!
You can try to fool us "aboot" your tough background Avril, but
we did our homework *wink*
Losing Grip
So here's our tough girl again. This almost made me forget about
"are you aware of what you make me feel baby", oh and "didn't you feel me lock my arms around you / whyd'ya turn away". Not.
She's lyk so pXnK rAwK!! Ppunching drunk men is lyke to2lly hArDc0r3!
If Britney just punched paps more often people would say the bald thing was an attempt to rebel against pop culture. America
has Britney, Canada has Avril.
Poseurness! It buuuurns!!
Girlfriend
"If some girl was going after my man, I'd punch them. I don't think stealing any
girl's guy is a nice thing - it's totally mean."
Oh man am I gonna have fun with this one...
The video starts with preppy Avril (as if that's not redundant
enough)
PreppyAvril meets her nemesis, PunkyAvril. Avril totally goes back to her punk pop roots by donning a black wig and being all angry and stuff. But wait! She's also playing the aforementioned prissy girlfriend, who, in real life, would never be dating
the emo boy they cast in this video and viceversa.
The dance to this song is comprised of
a lot of hand-clapping, head tilting, and hip popping. The background dancer in pink looks like she's 40 and was dressed by
Cindy Lauper. Polly Sez: Poor Cyndi Lauper.
Lesson 1. Always use skulls and pink hearts if you want your stupid
fans to forget you're singing about stalking a boi.
She tries to mow down her competition...with
a go kart. It's a nice lesson for teenagers around the world that PunkAvril is unnecessarily
mean in all her scenes, because being a bully is fun and cool, especially if you do
it to people who are different from you.
Avril proves one more time that she's "no fake pop sh*t", by playing
the only chord she knows. Oh well don't be mad, of course she knows all those difficult major chords too.
Lesson 2. Swearing in your preppy pop song and being full of yourself.
That makes it less annoying and more hardc0re. Not. I don't know which part I hate
more -- the way Avril sings,"I can, I can do it bet-tah!," or the fact that the video takes an all too light-hearted approach
to poaching other people's partners (and is executed very poorly in terms of direction in the video).
The video implies that
photo booth pictures are lame (they're not!), and yet PunkAvril gets the best of her competition by physically removing her
from the booth and inserting herself into the pictures. There are weird shades of Single White Female and Fatal Attraction here, but I'm sure
Avril's fan base isn't too interested in these sorts of films.
As a bonus, PunkAvril has
Dark and Twisty friends that pop out of nowhere to lend a hand. Incredibly, they're even more poseurish than she is, if that's
possible.
Lesson 3. Always do the bullhorns. And by always I mean
ALWAYS.
Lesson 4. Pick-up lines are boring, just be spoiled *cough* yourself.
Lesson 5. Kiss a guy while he's on a date with another girl. Remember,
that only works if you're Avril. If you're someone else you're a whore. Btw, is it me or are they dressed up as if they're
tweens? Eww..
Kissing a guy while he's on a date with his girlfriend. Classy.
Emo guy: Please let me gooooooooooooo!
Avril:
I want you, in my head that means YOU want me!
Are you depressed because Avril abandoned her punkness? Well we
have great news for ya! Complicated Avril might be gone but the tie is still here!
Mini-golf is SO pxnk rawk!
The best part of the video
happens when Avril "dances," except she's exerting as much energy as a newborn kitten taking a nap.
Preppy Avril all wet and angry and she expetcts her man to come
rescue her, but of course, he's secretly in love with PunkAvril so he just... doesn't care.
Punky/preppy Avril does the dance that would grant her the main
part in a 50 Cent video.
Avril shows us her grrreat muscles and how athletic she is (as
she put it). Don't you wish you had pasty boney arms like hers? I know I don't.
If this was Britney it would be like totally whory, but when
Avril does it, its totally rock'n'roll!
Avril: Do I make you horny?
Emo guy: *slits wrists*
Lesson... whatever. Dancing in front
of a bathroom mirror is very cool.
O.M.G.! Psycho prep chick strikes back! She wants her man and she
wants him NOW!
But the universe is fair and only the good guys win, so evil preppy
girl gets what she deserves. She flies across the mini-golf field for having Avril's man.
Does Britney undress guys in her videos? Really, does she? I mean
she's always half-naked but... do they show like the whole process and stuff? EDIT:
Stands corrected after watching the Womanizer video.
Is she implying they're gonna do it in a mini-golf bathroom? That's lyk
so edgy!! *pukes*
Defeated, wet (...) and alone, prissy girl prepares to face a life
of loneliness, unless she admits that PunkyAvril rules and that she's a loser for not being like her.
Avril celebrates victory by giving us her rebellious fist!!
*How can I look more trashy than I look already? I know! Imma push
emo boi into the bathroom*
Then the door closes.... *drums roll* Thankfully, PunkAvril's scheming and general
bitchiness works, because she lands the man of her dreams (or the man of the moment -- I think for her, it's interchangeable)
by the end of the video. Phew! For a moment there, I thought these two crazy kids would never get together. Coz you know,
you're not trashy if there are hearts and skulls in the bathroom door.
Oh Avril, you're so rock'n'roll!
When You're Gone
This is an ok video in general, it aims to touch people's sensitivities about the elderly and war (which awfully reminds
me of Greend Day's Whake Me Up When September Ends :-/). Polly Sez: Or Pink Floyd's albums "The Final Cut"
and "The Wall"
My problem with it is Avril's gross eyeliner and the Evanescence's My Immortal/Call Me When You're Sober/Lithium
rip off
Ok so I happened to have taken piano lessons and all I have to
say is: Bravo Avril, great technique! I hope Tori Amos Polly Sez: And Elton John, too find you one day and
kick you in the butt. You know they would.
Are you gonna say you also tought yourself how to play the piano
while you made up all those guitar chords?
This is supposed to be the emotional moment of the video, but we
know that you can't mix Avril and emotional. She makes C3PO cringe in terror.
So Hot (?)
The secret casting video for the Pussy Cat Dolls.
1. There must be a blind idiot out there telling her she looks sexy (her hubby maybe?). S/he must be killed. NOW.
2. The limo/screaming fans theme is so not old *sarcasm* Oh and the hideous blonde wig? WRONG!
3. Does
this hack really think this crap is rock music? *vomits*
4. Her voice is so synthetized it's sickening.
5. Listen to Avril's chorus and then listen to the start of
this song. Listen to the pre-chorus when he sings "I would swallow my pride..." and the guitar riffs...
6. All hail the Queen of Rip Off's !!
Her black eyeliner is just getting worse and worse, she looks like
Marilyn Manson in drag.
Polly Sez: Difference is, Marilyn Manson is cool. and Avril isn't.
Avril's backup dancers look just as fat and depressed as the ones in the Green Day's video, and they move just as bad,
the difference is of course the ones in Holiday do it on porupse.
|
HOLIDAY
RIP OFF! |
Emo cabarets are lyk3 so rock'n'roll!
Britney tried to copy Madonna. Look what happened to her...
|
WASN'T
BRITNEY LIKE, A WHOCAKE? |
Rockish heavy eyeliner and a blonde wig? Definately a no-no!
|
I'M
STILL PUNK Y'ALL. |